Can you answer one of the great sexual questions of all time…
Can a couple keep wild, passionate lovemaking all through a long-term relationship?
Or does it “naturally” die off?
The erotic happiness of our marriages, partnerships and lasting romances depends on how we answer this question.
Andrew and I started off pretty wild, and then our passion faded.
I thought, damn. Something has got to be done.
Can something be done???
So I put us into a sort of wild-sex training, and sure enough, the passionate lovemaking returned.
My answer is yes, you can absolutely keep wild-sex and passion alive in a long-term relationship.
But you need the right tools and focus and hardly any of us are taught this.
In this week’s Vlog below, I’m going to share six ways to keep that wild sexy fire alive.
Transcript:
How to keep wild sex alive in any relationship
Me and Andrew at first, we made love all like this.
And then two years later we were like this.
So it got me to wondering, is it possible to keep wild sex alive and a long term relationship? Or is it something that just has to die? We’ve discovered with confidence that you can get wild sex back even in a long term relationship, but it takes practice. It takes techniques. It takes focus and dedication to it.
So we’ve created this vlog to let you know our six tips for keeping wild sex alive, even in a long term relationship.
So I’m Layla Martin and I’m Andrew Simpson and this is a sexy revolution. This is the place to be. If you wanna have epic sex on legendary love.
So wild sex easily comes naturally in the first year of being together. But after that, you’ve got to make it happen. So these tools and techniques will all help you make wild sex, a part of your long-term relationship.
Now, the first tool is to check for identity blocks. Now, what I mean by this is as you go deeper and deeper into relationship, you step into a role. So this could be wife, it could be girlfriend, it could be mother. It could be long term partner, but you start to perceive yourself a certain way.
We’ve been socialized to believe that a good mother and a kinky slut in the bedroom are somehow not synonymous or that a good wife is not also super, sexually charged and alive in the bedroom.
And so one of the things that you really need to heal, if you wanna keep wild sex alive is to find out where maybe you’ve taken on an identity that means that you aren’t also comfortable being super, sexually charged, having awesome wild sex with your partner and also a good wife or mother or girlfriend or partner.
Men can encounter these same kinds of identity blockages as well. A man might be afraid to sexualize his wife or the mother of his children or his long term girlfriend. Like that’s not the way that you treat a good woman, right?
So it’s also important for you to look at your identity and figure out how you can also be super sexual in the bedroom while also assuming whatever identity you’ve taken on with your partner.
Tip number two is amp up your optimal sexual hormones. Now for men, this means boosting your natural testosterone levels, and that’s gonna make you wanna get more wild in the bedroom.
And that can also be just as simple as going to the gym and doing some weights is going to up your testosterone or going surfing or doing an activity or a sport you really love.
And you know, I’ve done that a lot in Bali here at the end of the day, we go and have a spa and then an ice bath. And that really gets me ready for the evening. Yeah, it does for women. This means getting horny.
Now too many times, I see women using hormones as this kind of death sentence. Oh, I’m getting older. Menopause is kicking in. I’m a mother now. I’m too tired. I’m too stressed. But actually more often than not your hormones follow your behavior rather than vice versa.
So if you regularly self-pleasure, if you regularly do things that turn you on, you’re actually gonna boost and stimulate your natural sexual hormones. Now the absolute best practice I know of for this is the Jade egg practice.
So I talk more about this in my other vlogs, and you can check that out if you want, but it’s a stone egg that you put up your vagina, you do all kinds of amazing practices with it, and it supercharges your sex drive.
When I did it even after we’d been together for a while and I wasn’t feeling so hot anymore, I felt like a freaking teenager.
Tip number three, don’t be lazy. So it’s really easy to just start taking your partner for granted, hanging out in your PJs all the time and really kind of being sloppy with how you treat them.
Think about when you first met them. I know when I first met Andrew, I was on my freaking best behavior, man. I was always making the bedroom into a sex pallet. I was always buying new lingerie. I was always treating him super hot and super turned on. And after a little while I stopped doing that and our sex stopped being as great.
Yeah. When we first got together, it naturally came wild. You know, we were always trying something new. We were passionate, we were fiery and sort of as the year, sort of went on, you just get into a bit more of a routine and you sort of start always having sex exactly the same way or the same pattern.
And it really takes the mind shift to break out of that pattern. You have to actively say, you know, tonight we’re gonna have some wild sex and you have to plan it and you have to go for it. And it might seem a bit prescriptive, but it worked.
So many people write into me with these fears. Oh, do I only have so many years where I can be attracted to my partner? Oh, is it sociological, biological that I’m just gonna fall out of love and stop wanting my partner.
But wild sex is just like having a fit body. You basically have to work at it. It isn’t just gonna happen. So if you dedicate it as much time to having wild sex and passionate sex with your partner, as you would have to, to stay fit and healthy, then you’re getting the idea. When I see couples do that, their sex life doesn’t die.
Yeah. And if you think about it, when you can’t be bothered to go for a run, you can’t be bothered to go to the gym. It seems like it’s going to be too much work. But as soon as you get there, you get into it. You love it. It is exactly the same way with sex and wild sex.
Tip number four is to try some basic BDSM. No, there’s this idea to do BDSM as a couple, you gotta be super into it. It’s gotta be your whole lifestyle. You have to be an expert. What me and Andrew have found is that’s absolutely not true.
We’re not huge into the BDSM scene. We don’t absolutely love it. And yet basic things have taught us so much and really added an edge to our sexual experience.
Yeah. It’s just putting a little bit of BDSM spice into your relationship. So it doesn’t have to be, you’re not getting out the whips and chains and going into a dungeon. It’s like, you know, maybe you’re trying a bit of bondage.
But you could, maybe you’re just sort of lightly tying them up to the bed and teasing them. Or maybe you’re doing a bit of playful spanking, you know, spanking doesn’t have to be hard.
It doesn’t have to be like bam. It’s like just, you know, just some light sort of enjoyable spanking later licks and a bit of light verbal spanking. The point is exploring a bit of BDSM together as a couple, getting some books, watching some YouTube videos on it can actually be really exciting.
Tip number five, try out erotic parties. So this is going to a sex party, a clothing optional resort, a sort of sensual soiree. And it’s not as threatening as it sounds. You can do it and stay monogamous.
Me and Andrew went to loads of sex parties while remaining monogamous with our inner relationship. But we found that just being around lots of sex and lots of crazy stuff was actually a huge turn on it actually really upped Andrew’s sex drive in a way that was super hot.
Yeah. I remember after our first sex party, I was just super horny for a week or two afterwards. I couldn’t get enough sex. It was, uh,…
He jumped on me on the train. That was pretty wild on the train. Yes, it was. It was clandestine as well. All the way home from Connecticut of all places.
And even if you don’t live in a major city or you don’t have any access to, to sex parties, you know, make a trip, make a weekend of it, go to a major city, book some sex party or some sex club, go try it out.
You know, you might be horrified, it might be super weird. And we’ve been to some super weird ones that we came out like that was horrific. I did like three showers and I hadn’t even touched anyone.
Yeah. So we didn’t do anything there, but you know, it actually made us stronger. You know,it was a bond between us. So we were like, okay, we made it through that together.
Tip number six, get in touch with your primal side. So if you think about it, we used to be way more wild as humans, way more tapped into our bodies, way more free wheeling. Men used to be warriors.
Women, you know, were out in nature all the time. There was just, you know, way more embodied. I’m not saying ancient society was perfect or anything like that. There’s just a different way of relating to your body in modern society.
You’re stressed out. You’ve got a crazy job. You’ve got so many errands. Maybe you’ve got kids, all of those things add up where you’re not spending a lot of time, really tapped into the rawness inside of you.
And if you wanna have great wild sex, then you have to spend some time getting back in touch with that primal side.
Yeah. And you might not even know you’ve got that big primal side until you sort of really try it. You let go. You don’t know it’s there. You know, I know that every time I sort of go a bit wild and primal or really actively sort of focus on it, I’m like, wow, that’s in there. And it’s super fun and exciting to try every now and again.
Yeah. Some great ideas for this. Get out into nature, go somewhere where you can just scream your head off. Even just screaming into a pillow for five minutes before making love can totally open you up and activate you in waves that are pretty awesome.
And, if you are somewhere where you can be noisy, just try screaming. It’s pretty amazing.
So let us know in the comments section below, has wild sex gone away in your relationship? And if so, which of these tips are you going to use to help get it back?
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