Andrew here!
I’m jumping in to share my thoughts on ‘attraction’ with you today…
and what I was unexpectedly attracted to in Layla when we first met.
It’s a great story…and there’s some awesome vintage Layla footage to go along with it 😉
This all came up because I was chatting with a good guy friend of mine recently…
about what really turns us on about women.
And it wasn’t the usual things like looks or weight.
It was both deeper AND sillier than that.
So I asked Layla if I could share with you…
the 3 things that we are most attracted to in women
and what many conscious men out there actually desire from their woman.
This applies whether you are in a relationship or not…
as these things not only attract guys you are dating…
but also keep your man satisfied in a long-term relationship.
Check them out below.
Transcript:
3 Unexpected things that turn men on
So one of the things I think that’s hardest about dating, I know it was really, really challenging for me is that, you know, I got exposed to a lot of guys that were heavily conditioned to just want, you know, a woman who just made them feel good all the time woman who was just sweet and nice, like essentially a modern day Barbie doll. And, you know, we also had a lot of judgements around women and just, you know, a lot of BS, basically, you sleep with a lot of weird people. You date a lot of weird people.
And I think there’s like a pool of men and women that are more into, you know, not living life to the fullest, not being super alive and authentic, not growing together, you know, “Consciousness what?”, and like those people, it’s very easy if you, you know, get exposed to them on Tinder.
If you go out on dates with them, if you end up dating them a little bit, not quite sure to end up starting to turn yourself, contort yourself, to make them happy. And the truth is, if that’s not you, then you’re never gonna be satisfied by that. So like, I would start doing that so I could feel desired so I could feel wanted. And what I found was then I contorted myself and I was no longer exceptional to extraordinary men. This happens with men and women.
So I think what’s really important. You know, right now I’m talking to you, women especially is to remember that what an exceptional man wants and what an average, or like even sort of, you know, I don’t wanna say like low quality loser, but you get what I mean, like they’re conditioned in a certain way to not want authenticity and freedom and aliveness and beauty. Uh, they want, you know, whatever pornography tells them to want.
So you want to be what an exceptional man wants if that’s true for you, right? So you’re not trying to change yourself, but you remember that exceptional people and exceptional men will want, if they’re straight, an exceptional woman. And so you don’t wanna dull your shine, turn down your bigness, stop being too much for the people that you’re too much for, cuz you’ll miss an exceptional opportunity to be with someone that that’s exactly what they desire.
It’s also really important if you’re in a relationship to remember this, because society will tell you, and most of us got this message that we were supposed to turn ourselves down and make everything okay, and smooth everything over.
And while that can work sometimes over the long run, what you do is you just make your relationship boring. And so sometimes what keeps a relationship alive and ecstatic and connected even after years and years together is making the courageous choices to do the bold things, the exceptional things, and you know, with an exceptional man, it really makes a difference.
So Andrew wanted to share with you three things that I don’t think men talk about that often that they actually are attracted to in women, especially men who have done their work, they’ve gone inside themselves. They want something different.
Yeah. And the three things I’m gonna share with you today, they aren’t the obvious things that men are attracted to women about. Like, you know, how they look, how they smell the natural chemistry, their deeper things and things that are really gonna last for the long term and build that attraction in a relationship for the long term.
So number one, show your true geek.
<laugh>
What to do. No, that was good.
So Layla showed her true geek to me when we first met. So we actually first met in Thailand on the beach. And I think a few days after we had met, there was a talent night at this place called the sanctuary. And Layla had, she’d been living at the sanctuary for a number of years and had never actually been in this talent night.
So she was telling me this and I said, look, you’ve, you’ve gotta get up this week and do something like this is your week. And you know, she was arming and awing. And then the night of the talent show, you know, I was there and I was, you know, I was actually quite tired and I was about halfway through and I was about to get up and go back to my room and go to sleep. And the announcer announces, you know, Layla’s on, I was like, Woohoo. So anyway, Layla gets up and proceeds to do the most outrageously geeky, weird ass, amazing dance I have ever seen to what, what was the song?
Total Eclipse of the Heart
And someone kindly recorded it for us. So…
I would just like to say that I don’t feel that that recording captures the true magic of that dance, but you get some idea.
You know, and Layla’s geek comes out through our whole relationship. And it’s one of the things I really love about her, you know, last week she was teaching me about the big bang and you know, what, what the hell were you teaching me?
Oh that, no, we listen, listen. Okay. So the big bang likely, and this is math, the mathematical equations show that likely the big bang happened in a fourth dimensional universe when a fourth dimensional star collapsed into a singularity. And we, this, all of this is a holographic three dimensional universe surrounding a fourth dimensional black hole. Do you want that?
<laugh>
See, this is what I love about her. You know, it’s not necessarily my passion, but I love her passion for these types of things. And it really turns me on to hear her talk about the things that she really loves.
The second unexpected way to turn on a man is to play with him. So yes, exactly like that, the way Layla and I most often play with each other is, um, being stupid animals. So I don’t, I don’t know how this works, but just randomly, every couple of days we change what animal we’re gonna be. We make animal sounds. We <laugh> <laugh> we lick each other while I lick her and she hates it. Um, we’re just constantly sort of dancing around, mucking around being stupid.
I think, you know, one of the things that just keeps a relationship really alive is playfulness and silliness. It both attracts someone to you. If you can have a lot of fun together, but it also keeps you together over the long run.
So as I said in the first point, Layla’s super deep and intellectual and I love that about her. But being silly is the thing that really, really sort of keeps us bonded and together in the relationship, because we can just be free to sort of be who we are.
And number three is always speak your truth. Give it to me, give some truth,
Give you some truth. Um, truth about you… I think the thing that defines you is a deep fear of your true power and who you really are. And I think you would find the contentment and peace you seek in life, if you fully said yes to that instead of trying to hide from it.
Yeah. So speaking the truth, isn’t easy, you know, it, um, it often causes a lot of arguments between us and it’s, it’s hard to hear and you know, sometimes I’m like, fuck this shit I’m out of here. <laugh> overall speaking the truth in a relationship really makes your relationship grow. It evolves you. And it really actually connects you and bonds you together in, in a stronger relationship and the way Layla and I speak our truth in our relationship is we, we talk about our desires in bed and how we’re feeling in bed, whether it’s, um, good or whether it’s bad or what we’d like or what we don’t like.
And another way that we speak our truth, which is a little game we play, which sort of is a, it gets a little tricky is that we can ask each other any time. What are you thinking right now? And the other person has to, has to tell you exactly what they’re thinking. No matter if it’s gonna hurt you or not. And, um, yeah, that one, it’s interesting. There’s been a, there’s been a lot of arguments that start from that one, but, um, I love being able to know and trust that I can, I can know exactly what’s in Layla’s mind at all times.
Yeah. I mean, that doesn’t work for every couple, but for us it’s pretty amazing. We feel there’s a spaciousness in our relationship to hold who we both really are, our deepest thoughts and feelings and, you know, crabby moments and petty moments and things like that.
So that’s it, that’s three great ways to turn on a man. And you know, if Layla does those three things for me and when she does those three things for me, I’m completely satisfied in our relationship.
Yeah. If I combine all three it’s like, and I think it was really interesting, like what I learned from doing this blog, cuz we, you know, we didn’t know where we were going necessarily when we started this, is that the same things that will attract an extraordinary person to you are also the same things that will keep you together with an extraordinary person in the long run. And that’s pretty magical to me.
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