Not gonna lie to you, pain and dungeons are not my thing, so for the longest time I've stayed away from BDSM.
Then Andrew and I went to a “BDSM for beginners” workshop and learned the art of sensual spanking.
When he rubbed up against me and teased me and then gave me just the right amount of intensity: WOW!
A doorway opened.
So we kept exploring and what I found is that:
- Either BDSM is “your thing'” – in which case, you should definitely explore it fully.
- BDSM is “not your thing” – but, as in my case, can teach you so many great things about clear boundaries, exploring edges and fantasies that is worth experiencing because it can greatly enhance your every-day sex life.
So in todays video I’ll show you how to setup a super hot BDSM / kinky sex scene that is safe, contained, responsible and super fun, check it out below.
This video is not to be missed as it features me dragging Andrew around in a dog-collar…
Transcript:
Hot BDSM for Beginners
Get up dog. I want you to bark.
I want you to scare me.
And come closer.
You’re gonna fulfill every single one of my desires and you’re gonna enjoy it.
So while that can be a part of kinky sex, BDSM isn’t all about whips chains, leather and dungeons. It’s not about how sex looks on the outside. It’s about how it feels on the inside.
Real kinky sex takes place on the psychological level. It’s about whether you can penetrate and be penetrated in the mind. If you learn to master that art, there’s a tremendous world of really exciting, really edgy, sexy adventures to be had, but it can be really scary exposing some of these desires to your lover or your partner.
And so I’m gonna be sharing with you in this video, how you can set up a super hot, super pleasurable kinky sex scene that’s also safe, contained, responsible, and something that you can feel comfortable approaching your lover about.
So I’m mistress, Layla. This is the place to come. If you want to experience epic sex, legendary love and kinkiness.
What is BDSM?
B stands for bondage restricting tying someone up limiting someone’s ability to move or experience something.
D is for dominance. One person being dominant in power in control, and they naturally need a submissive. Someone to submit to their will.
S is for sadism, the desire to inflict pain or even experience it on another person.
M is Masochism, it’s the desire to experience pain and have experiences inflicted on one’s self.
There’s also the world of kink, which is anywhere you’re exploring what is considered edgy, taboo, or boundary pushing. You can think of how to incorporate kinkiness into your relationship, like creating a story. You’re telling a story together where you’re fully inhabiting characters.
Instead in this story, the characters aren’t fairytale quality they’re designed to turn you on. They’re characters you inhabit that express some aspect of your sexuality that you can step into fully. This is a domain where you can play out expressions of yourself that may not be socially acceptable or even civilized, but they can open up serious erotic experiences for you and your lover.
So how can you start playing in this world with your partner?
I’m gonna let you know some easy steps that you can apply to start involving more kinkiness in your sex life regularly.
Order number one – is to discuss your fantasies and your desires with your partner. Now, it’s really important that you create safe space for this so that your partner can fully express what they’re desiring.
My fantasy would be. If you got all dressed up in hot latex.
Thank you.
I want you to get dressed up in tight latex and put a dog collar around my neck and then start to sort of drag me around.
Wow. Really? That seems kind of weird.
Yeah, but
So this is the time to have an adult moment with yourself. If you don’t feel capable of really being there for your partner’s desires of not judging them, shaming them, making them feel guilty or having an emotional freak out because of what your partner desires to do with you. Then maybe you’re not ready for kinky play.
Order number 2 – you’re gonna set up your scene. You want to make sure there’s good boundaries. What that means is you’re gonna discuss anything that you definitely don’t wanna try in your scene and things that you definitely do wanna try in your scene.
Now you want to have safety words. This is because you don’t wanna use yes or no, because sometimes you wanna play with those words. What you wanna have instead is signals. Meaning go, this feels good, but don’t go any further or stop. The most basic and easy thing to do with this is green for go ahead, yellow for this feels good to go any further and red for stop immediately whatever you’re doing.
You can become more creative with your words, but you wanna make sure you don’t get too creative or else you can easily forget what the words mean during your scene.
Ar ma…armad, I said, “Armadillo.”
What does that mean again?
It’s a safe word.
You also wanna think about good safety. This is especially important for the dominant. If you’re gonna be binding your partner, you wanna make sure that you know how to tie ropes properly so that you don’t cause any injury. You also wanna set up the scene so that you’re well aware of safety. You don’t wanna create any lasting injuries or, you know, get a lawsuit. A great way to work with this is to always start easy. Tie your ropes a little bit loose when you start out, if you’re practicing impact play, like spanking or flogging, start out very light, very sensual, and ask your partner for a green light for you to build up the intensity.
If you’re a beginner and you’re a little bit nervous, it can be nice to set a time for the scene. We’re gonna start, we’re gonna do this for 30 minute, and then we’re gonna stop. Be sure that when the scene is over, it’s really over.
And then you wanna take time to integrate, discuss what happened, discuss your experiences, make sure you’re able to digest and support one another through this deep psychological process.
Order number 3 – is you’re gonna play out your scene. So you wanna make sure that you’ve got all the props that you need, that you’ve set up the whole space appropriately. And you can consider some of the following to put into your kinky story, starting from the most basic blindfold handcuffs, a little bit of tying up your partner, a little bit of spanking.
To more advanced practices like flogging, sensory deprivation or sensory overload or deep anal play. So if you’re desiring to experience more kinky sex with your partner, then I order you to sign up, to find out more about my epic lovers course, which will have a whole module on kinky sex for lovers.
So let me know in the comment section below, what do you prefer, being dominant or being submissive? Let’s see which one wins and I’ll let you know next week. If you want access to my exclusive sexy content that I only share via email, then head over to Laylamartin.com. Sign up with your email address to stay connected. Go ahead and share this on Facebook below so we can get lots of kinky play going. And thank you so much for showing up for this video. I now order you to go out there and have more adventurous kinky sex with your lover.
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