“Layla is the real deal. This book is pure gold, don’t miss it!” — Dr Deborah Kern
Posted on April 30, 2015
Energetically, this was a challenging week…
starting with the 100+ character attacks coming from zealots on my youtube channel;
1. I’m super grateful that I’ve embraced my evil, my pathetic-ness and the whore in me with compassion and love.
YAHOOO! I feel blessed to experience acceptance of my full humanity where others have fear.
2. Deep sadness that the teachings of Christ, which I experience to be fundamentally about radical love for oneself, all of humanity, all of creation and the divine can get so twisted.
3. Profound GRATITUDE to live in 2015 in a society where these people do NOT run the show.
500 years ago in Europe – this attitude of persecution of women and magic had real power.
Now: you can be as womanly and powerful and magical as you damn well please!
Ladies, let’s get out there and CELEBRATE this new era of freedom – dance in the street, make love with passion, wear what makes you feel beautiful, experience the ecstasy of life and let’s keep building this movement so that every woman around the world has the blessing of knowing her own freedom and beauty and sexual power.
4. All of their anger helped my video go viral – hahaha!!
… it came to my awareness that a well known “spiritual teacher” who has been engaging in predatory sexual behavior with his female students for over a decade had sexually assaulted a woman in one of his “healing sessions.”
This man has a reputation for engaging in fear tactics and bullying and has silenced countless women with this behavior.
He holds festivals and workshops all over Europe and has apparently engaged in this behavior with women there as well.
A huge part of me wanted to say “not my problem” – but another piece of me knows that standing for the sexual empowerment of women means standing for the belief that sexual abuse is not okay – ever.
No justifications and no silence on the matter.
It is the silence that has allowed it to prevail for so long.
Without lashing out, or being dramatic – and at the same time not sticking my head in the sand – I knew that it was time to effectively build a coalition to stop this behavior.
Speaking up has brought up huge issues – friends who are associate with this teacher have lashed out at me – and fear of retribution from this unstable teacher.
I need a woman to come forward with her story publicly – even anonymously – to bring this to the media and really have an impact.
But many of the women have been scared into silence.
I can’t control whether one will agree to release her story or not.
I can only do my part to open a pathway for her voice to have real power if she chooses and to support her with all of my heart and resources.
All of this was exhausting while having a non-stop filming schedule for my upcoming “Epic Lovers” course for couples (it’s gonna be freaking amazing!!!)
What I’ve been thinking about is how much I’ve learned to deal with the challenges and stresses of giving my gifts to the world…
But what really gets to me is the thousand little heartbreaks along the way.
My heart breaks many times a week (this week, like a thousand times)…
…when I find out that certain teachers leading women aren’t in integrity or when I have to face up to the hatred coming at me.
It breaks when a friend lets me down or I let myself down.
It breaks for every single woman everywhere who’s dealing with the s**t from sexual, emotional, physical, psychological mysogynistic practices and belief systems.
It calls up the painful abuse from my own childhood.
I thought: how the f**k am I gonna deal with all of this?
It’s not about what I can’t control:
I can’t control if this man goes on teaching
I can’t control whether a woman decides to come forward with her story publicly
I can’t make the people who use Jesus as an excuse to hate, learn to love
I can’t stop my own heart from breaking
All I can do is keep my own little fire burning over here.
In those moments when the weight of life all feels like a little too much to bear – I remember that it’s that burning force of love in my heart – my morals, my integrity, my compassion – that’s gonna keep me going fierce at the end of the day.
My heart thrives on fire.
What I have to do is keep pouring on the fuel.
And no matter what you want right now – a beautiful relationship, a better world, more money, a great orgasm, deep healing – it takes a fierce kind of slow, soft burning love that just keeps going to get there.
1. Remember what you are about, what you stand for, who you are. I’m about love, baby. Over and over again. I’m about freedom and integrity and humanity.
2. Practice compassion: for everyone. Everywhere. Most of all including yourself. I find compassion to be the most powerful emotion. When I’m truly compassionate, I feel powerful. When I think of those youtube posts, I think: It must be painful to get so upset by a youtube video. It must be painful to believe in a vengeful God and fear hell, rather than a loving God offering endless paradise in the here and now.
3. Take action in alignment with your desires in a grounded way. I’m effectively addressing this manipulative teacher. I’m designing ways to overhaul the whole system to create real accountability in the sexual healing realm. I’m slowly answering the youtube comments. Taking action and getting real with life makes me feel powerful.
Well, actually you can change the system.
Women can become presidents, institutional racism can end, sexuality and magic can be protected as human freedoms, gay people can marry, pot can get smoked legally, the whole immense beauty of femininity can get unleashed to raise the vibration of society…
Each and every one of us is an agent of change.
The question is: what kind of change are you making?
I’d love to hear from you: sharing this felt vulnerable!
So hop on down to the comments and let me know about any heartaches you’ve been feeling and what feeds your fire to stay alive.
I truly desire support for you. For me. For us together.
Posted on April 15, 2015
A reporter asked me the other day “Do you ever feel pressure to always have great sex since you’re a sex-teacher?”
Yeah, I said.
It doesn’t happen super often, but I have bad sex.
But I’ve made it a practice to celebrate each sexual opportunity so most of the time Andrew and I make love it is an epic experience.
It takes a lot to move from “meh” to “extraordinary.”
I’ve spent a lot of time asking myself, “If we have the capacity to have ultra-gorgeous, super sensual, over the top erotic bliss – why does anyone ever settle for “blah?”
I’m gonna share that with you in today’s video.
So if you want to know what can take your lovemaking (and your life!) from blah to absolutely extraordinary, then watch todays vlog below.
Posted on April 1, 2015
My hair starting falling out in little clumps last week!
At first I freaked out, and then I had a huge revelation.
I’m sharing it with you in this week’s Vlog…
…along with 5 great tools for fully loving your body before it’s too late.
Check it out below.
Posted on March 19, 2015
So, I totally just found my new favorite word.
It’s Greek and it means:
1. To put soul, love and creativity into something.
2. To put ‘some of yourself’ into what you are doing.
…so beautiful, but there’s no translation for it in English.
It’s used to describe when you have left a piece of yourself in your art.
This captures for me the heart of a fulfilling sexuality.
It’s full of your unique soulful, loving, creative spirit.
So, how do you tap into that?
How do you fill your sexuality with soul, love and creativity?
By tapping the potential of your G-spot.
It’s not just a spot, it’s a whole world of pleasure and sensation that unlocks a certain “youness” in your sexuality.
And I’ve created an exquisite guide to fully accessing it in this week’s Vlog.
Posted on March 3, 2015
“You can be younger at 60 then you were at 30 because you’ve changed your attitude and your lifestyle.” – Dr. Northrup, Goddesses Never Age
On one hand, I see myself dancing with wild abandon in some crazy desert festival in my 90s, being sexy, desirable and fashionable until the day I die.
On the other hand – I’ll catch a brief glimpse of that deepening crow’s eye wrinkle in the mirror and feel a flash of anxiety… is it all over so soon?!?
I know you may also be struggling with aging – can you really still be sexy at any age? Can you really still love your body and feel stunningly radiant?
When I feel a little lost – I look to role models to remind me of what’s possible and when it comes to being an ageless Goddess, it’s Dr. Christiane Northrup who inspires me deeply.
This woman is a sexy, salsa dancing passionista – fierce, firey, successful and brilliant in her beauty – now in her 60s.
So, I caught up with her today to get some of her best advice for us on feeling sexy in the bedroom at any age and shaking off that fear that it “just might be too late…”